Wow. I'm almost too shocked to be upset right now.

So, I asked this chick I've been talking to for a while what kind of "nightlife" she's into, and her response was "Dungeons.. and roleplaying"

So me, being the sap I am, was naturally elated, and I thought "Damn! Me and this chick can share EVERYTHING!"

So I told her "That's awesome.. I play on Mondays." and to joke around I said "Ok, if you were kidding, you can run now.."

Today she writes back "So. That was a joke. Are you really an adult who plays D&D?"

aaaaand, I pretty much felt like I got hit in the gut as I read that.

I replied and said that yes, once a week I do play it.. that I'm not some stereotype.. and I asked her "Is it really a big deal?"

But she better have some heart-warming comeback, because so far that was one of the foulest things I've ever seen in the "online dating game"

Sigh.

Maybe this is a day late, and a dollar short, but I had this idea for a comedy bit I want to do. I've been listening to NPR almost every day, so I've thought about doing:

MEPR - Middle Earth Public Radio

Correspondents would include:

Robert Smeigel, Ky Rivendell, and I forget the lady's name who does traffic, but her.. with a LOTR'ish name.

Among the things I could talk about is Robert Smeigel reporting on the loss of his precious, Ky Rivendell with an economic report on the Mordor bailout package, and maybe a traffic report talking about "There's a six elephant pileup on the elven footway.." etc.

Might have to source a microphone though.

Well, it turns out that this guy Prosen I used to work with tried to kill someone (in the face) with a hammer:

http://www.winonadailynews.com/articles/2009/01/29/news/03hammer.txt

As for the inevitable question that I know I'D ask me - yes, he was a fucking strange guy when I worked with him.. ; P

So yeah, here I sit and procrastinate after having just commented on leo9 's journal.

I'm pretty happy this semester is coming to a close. There are so many things I'm looking forward to during the "break" before Summer session (although I'm proud to admit that I'm NAR TAR TORE STOKED [a little 'throwback' for a few of you guys, did you catch it? ; P] about TRIG this summer.. I'm even getting SOHCAHTOA tattoo'd on my fuckin' NECK, yo!)

Amongst other things I'm looking forward to:

- Learning to play my FLUTE, which shipped today. I hope to be decent on it, and have like 10+ video game themes memorized, so I can regale people in line while I'm waiting for panels at Comic Con this summer!

- Visiting mi madre en el ciudad Phoenix, AZ.

- Having some time to relax and plow through my netflix queue..

- Reading. I just started "INFERNO by Dante." so I should be done with that in say, 2 years ; P I also bought "Paradise Lost" and "Don Quixote".. so yeah, I'm doing a "literary classics" tour ; P

- Doing a few Java tutorials.. and maybe, MAYBE starting on a big hobby project I've been cooking up. -- Is anyone handy with XML, btw? ]; D

- Decompressing from all of the drama that has gone down since October..

So yeah, can't wait. : )

----------------
Now playing: Thelonious Monk - Well, You Needn't
via FoxyTunes    

So one day, about three months ago, I heard a rustling in the bushes outside my front door. At first, I assumed it might be a snake, a rat, a navy reserve recruiter, or some other type of pest. Lo' and behold, when I investigated, it turned out to be a Mom cat (a bitch..?) and her two kittens. I more or less saw these kittens from the week they were born, and couldn't open their eyes, up til about a month old. Then one day they disappeared. I debated doing a recon mission around my neighborhood, but decided against it, given that some of my neighbors seem kind of scary/crazy/loud/possibly gun-toting.. and looking into their bushes didn't seem like the best way to introduce myself.

Well, come to find out, the chick who lives next door had "catnapped" them. I feed this one neighborhood cat, who I call "Talky Tawny" (yeah, dig up -that- obscure comic book reference ; ) and one day while I was feeding him, she started talking to me and the subject of the kittens came up. She told me that she had heard them meowing, and felt it was her duty to take them in (even though they weren't really old enough.) She also made an oblique comment that she might need a cat-sitter over the holidays. I didn't entertain that, but long story short, here I am now babysitting the two kittens I first saw as little "bush babies" over two months ago.

So allergies aside, they haven't been TOO much of a pain in the ass (but they are kittens, so the whole "getting into all kinds of shit" stereotype applies.) and they do heartwarmingly "cute" things. (See my flickr at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/phaelinx/ for proof.)

The problem is, I also have to go over and check on her adult cat.. or should I say "hellcat" because in the 3 times I've been over there, it's hissed, bitten and scratched the shit out of me. : ( I actually need to call that chick and tell her to warn her roommate (who already hates cats) that the cat is on the warpath.

If she were coming home in a couple days, this wouldn't be a big issue, but I don't think she's coming back til at least January 10th. So I have to consider my options.

In other news, I've been pretty productive, and have been learning a helluva lot of Java at work. I've already made a pretty decent class for connecting to MS SQL Server DBs (via JTDS) and am working with my co-worker on a decent Swing app to do basic CRUD stuff. While I've been at home, I've also been trying to further my knowledge by reading Sun tutorials, and this book "Killer Game Programming in Java".. The only problem is that I have like 5-6 ideas for games, but my technical skills are nowhere near there yet. Oh well, we'll see where I'm at by this time next year ; )

I'm about a month into my "Intro To Cultural Anthro" class, and so far I've learned that western society is completely non-sustainable in terms of agriculture/industrial production, compared to indigenious horticulturalists, we're all soulless, joyless, automatons, and that we're slowly killing out many vibrant cultures and languages. In a nutshell.

Maybe I'm being a little sarcastic, but that's the viewpoint of the three instructors I've had so far, the book, and all of the movies we've watched (save one about Americans adopting abandoned Chinese babies.) 

Which is not to say I don't partially agree with most of it, but I just find it ironic that true to stereotype - most college professors and classes I've had so far, DO have a far-left viewpoint to them. Is that really noteworthy though? I guess if you were a hardcore right-wing'er and you were getting unfairly marked down for well-written essays on "WHY ABORTION IS JUST -WRONG-" it would be pretty bad, but I don't write those kinds of essays so I can't really say.

As far as the anthro viewpoint I've seen so far, I agree with it to the point that I believe the typical western lifestyle is destructive to the environment, and potentially the world at large. I think that the best (most ethical) job you could have would probably be to work for Greenpeace, or possibly Amnesty Int'l (to prevent worldwide violence).... but, at present I do what I think most Americans do, and I'm working on a career ([videogame] programmer) that really only benefits me, and reconcile this against the "right" lifestyle by just trying to do as little damage as possible.

Now on a semi-sci-fi tangent for a second. Assuming industrialized society eventually creates a global grid of all living minds, and amasses all knowledge, at which point this collective intelligence becomes what philosophers refer to as "the omega point" then it may be possible to go to other dimensions, terraform planets, etc.. and it won't matter if humanity destroyed Earth's environment, or made millions of species extinct... to be pollyanna about it. If something like that were mankinds ultimate goal, then all we really need to do is keep Earth habitable long enough to achieve it.

.. but like I said, that's a sci-fi tangent.

In reality, I accept the fact that I'm potentially amassing bad environmental "karma" right now, and ultimately I'd like to have a 10-15 year career in the software dev biz, and after that I'll try and make up for it with some environmental/humanitarian work..

That's the plan, anyway.

Whoever came up with that phrase probably took English 101 at a community college.

Community college is going good so far, but my English class has become a bi-weekly trip to the dentist's office.. with extra fluoride treatments.
I've always known I was different, and both lamented and been proud of it, sometimes simultaneously. However, on the rare occasion when I've been in a class/public setting and I've made a heartfelt opinion known, there is often a lot of backlash/people scoff at me, and I get self-conscious. I probably shouldn't be surprised, I mean - I like a lot of "normal" things, but the majority of things I like are either not part of my "demographic" or are considered "just plain strange."

I read an elseworlds comic (insert title here) that was written from the perspective of Lex Luthor. In it, Lex Luthor was the hero, and was vigilant towards the supremely powerful alien Superman, who had made Metropolis his home. Sometimes I know what that Lex Luthor feels like, when I see all the "bro" guys who easily make friends with other "bro" guys, and are "scoring chicks' numbers" with ease, while I'm given cautious looks and called "sir" or some other formal salutation because I'm not smiling and/or dressed like everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any buisness scoring "chicks numbers" but it wouldn't be horrible to give off whatever aura it is that makes people comfortable with you, instead of the egalitarian death aura.. or whatever it is I have going on.

I'm not sure where I "forked away" from the mainstream so dramatically. I'm sure it doesn't help that I don't have any friends down here to hang out with, most of my co-workers can be kind of "back-stabby" (so I'm not interested in seeing them outside of work), I listen to 90% jazz.. or punk/industrial/metal (and not new music), and the only person I really have human conversations with is Kristina.. but maybe I'm in a sort of echo chamber, and it's making we weird/out-of-touch with "mankind." I wish people could see how laid-back, and open-minded I try to be.. but then again, it's probably for the best that people don't have telepathy or some questions might come up about how many times I visualize going GTA3 while I'm sitting in traffic on the way home from work. : P 

I started thinking about this post tonight because we had done a reading on the implications of calling a tank-top a "Wife Beater" and the author of the piece's opinion was that that was causing people to downplay the horror of someone actually beating their wife. She asked something to the effect of "Does the author prove her opinion?" and I answered "Maybe if she pointed out a survey that 90% of all people who use the term "wife beater" to describe the shirt also thought it was o.k. to actually beat their wives.." Apparently, that was a bad answer because someone in the class said "Whaaa?" in disbelief, and the teacher said "Well, I don't think you're going to find a survey that says that.." kind of condescendingly.

..and it's shit like that, that makes me just want to keep my opinions to myself. ; P

Tonight I was reading some wiki articles about Sandman, and was lead down a path of researching every DC Comics character who has made a cameo in the series. In particular, I was amazed by the apparently ongoing level of depth that the Swamp Thing comic has had. I got started on this thread by coming to find out that "Matthew the raven" is basically the spirit of Swamp Thing/Doom Patrol character. I knew as a "matter-of-fact" that John Constantine had made his first appearance in ST, but anyway, I'll get to the real point:

It's only been in the last couple years that I've really come to understand just how much I missed throughout the 80's/90's as a strict Marvel "true believer."

Now, as I get older and appreciate authors like Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore and Garth Ennis as much, if not more than I appreciated Chris Claremont's writing as a kid, I realize how misguided I was to just lump all of DC (including Vertigo) into the "oh, that's just the batman/superman universe.."

I think one of my biggest flaws growing up has been to support brands/companies/products based only on whatever product I happened to be exposed to first. I've then made the mistake of blindly following the company's dogma and regurgitating whatever marketing propaganda they've come up with.

It happened with Nintendo (Mario) vs. Sega (Sonic) and I wouldn't get near a Genesis, almost to the point of calling it "unclean".. and of course, anyone who suggested a Sega game might be better than a competing Nintendo title was nearly an "infidel."

I towed the line for years that Windows was the greatest operating system since DOS. Ah, how young and naive I was..

I was never a soda purist though, but honestly I always thought Pepsi was a little too sugary, even for me ; P~

But even though I wish that perhaps I'd been a little more of an "early adopter" and tried to get linux onto my desktop back then, I still think the most important thing I missed out back then was what could have been some extremely mind-altering pop-culture - the DC Universe.. and maybe it could've been an airbag for my faith in comics when Marvel hit it's brick wall, creatively - in the late 90's.

Case-in-point: One of the best, yet also, most potentially loathsome concepts in superhero comics: the crossover.

In my opinion, "Infinity Gauntlet" set the bar for crossovers. It involved (nearly) every character in the Marvel universe, had interesting and cohesive side-plots, a worthy central villian, mind-numbing (well, to my 11 year old mind, anyway) plot twists, and a satisfying ending.

With what I've seen of DC though, "Crisis On Infinite Earths" was probably just as good.. and "Infinite Crisis" (as I'm going through it now..) has a lot of the same "spirit." All in all, I think Marvel has historically had excellent crossovers (Age Of Apocalypse, Onslaught, Secret Wars), but they also haven't made lasting changes in the way that DC crossovers have, and the core concepts of many of the Elseworlds books pretty much rival the best Marvel crossovers.

So it's kind of a stalemate, but given that Marvel has fallen off in the crossover department, and that DC actually allows their crossovers to have ramifications, I lean slightly toward the DC side on that one.

"Ramifications" is also a word that favors DC in the heroes department as well. Am I the only one who is sick of seeing Peter Parker reverting back to a 20-something, or teenager, every 5-10 years/when it suits Marvel's interests? I mean, does he have some secret spider power, where he can websling backwards fast enough to spin the world in reverse (ala Movie Superman) and end up 20 years old again? I mean, when I was 12, he was going to NYU, and MJ was starting out as a soap opera actress.. should they both be like 40 with kids and a couple mortgages by now? That's probably the most glaring example for me (unless you consider most members of the FF, or original Avengers who should be DEAD of old age by now.. : P )

DC on the other hand has provided EXPLANATIONS as to why some golden age heroes are still middle-aged adults, and has had REPLACEMENTS for other characters as they AGED.. (i.e. the replacement Flashes, Green Lanterns..)

Naturally, I know what "suspension of disbelief" is, but I also know what a shitty retcon is when I see it. Is there seriously no one who can re-invent Stan Lee's character concepts? I don't honestly think that's the problem, but that's the only logical explanation I can think of, since Chris Claremont demonstrated that Marvel -can- re-invent/kill-off unpopular characters (anyone remember Psylocke's little "transformation" during "Acts Of Vengeance"?)

Ugh. Anyway, aside from Hulk and possibly the new Garth Ennis Punisher series, I'm keeping Marvel at arm's length... viva la DC y VERTIGO ]; P~

All,

After many years of complaining, chronicling the mundane and airing dirty laundry on here, it's time to pack up and take my ranting to a new site.

Seriously though, I don't think LJ can compete or is even trying to compete with other blog sites at this point. I believe that whatever russian group it was that bought this site is using it to make money off of poor, loyal subscribers, and I also do not have faith in them to protect my information/not sell it to spammers..

Last but not least, I feel like it's time I "got with the times" and the other half of my move will be that I plan to take advantage of this new-fangled "RSS" stuff everyone was talking about 3 years ago, and use an RSS-reader solution to replace the now-defunct "friends" page on here.

So I'm off. My new blog will be at: phaelinx.wordpress.com

As soon as I can port over all my posts from here, I'll be deleting this account.

Thanks to the people who have put up with me this long, and I seriously hope anyone who cares to follow what I'm up to syndicates/reads my new wordpress blog.

If you're reading this and YOU have a blog on another site, please send me the link and I'll syndicate you, or something. ;D

Hope everyone is doing well,

Josh

Summary of events from the last week, or so:

- Got an "A-" on my essay which I spent almost 0 effort on, and it was totally slamming this guy Richard I worked with on the Nimitz.. what can I say? Drama sells...

- Got a "D" on my first algebra test. Doh.

- Bought an UBER spiffy zalman "silent" cpu fan. "I can hear the ocean.."

- Made 95 bucks betting on English Premier League soccer. "GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLL!!!" :D

- Discovered the fact that youtube is pretty much the best place ever to discover new 80's funk music.

- We got a cat a couple weeks ago.. his name is Nietszche, and he's like 50% cat, 40% dog, 10% opossum..

- I toured SDSU today and "WOW." for being in the armpit city of all armpit cities, I'm -psyched- to attend that muthafucka! The Comp Sci. building reminded me of some of the military training facilities I've been in, except 1000% nicer ;P

Well, hope everyone is doing well.. though at this point, I think the only person on my friends list who still posts (/reads this?) is Erin..

Well, I'd been meaning to write an entry after last week, so here it is:

Last weekend, Kristina went up to OC for her Mom's birthday. I was tempted to sit around and Wii it up, or catch up on my usenet movie collection, maybe even fix the SPARC box sitting next to my desk. Then I had a better idea.. why not go up to OC myself and do something I'd been meaning to do since I moved back to CA? So I picked up my phone and first called Kevin (technically my oldest friend.) and luckily he wasn't up to shit, so there was one bird/old friend down. Then I thought about who I hadn't seen in a long time and really owed a visit to, and of course Rob came to mind.

I got really lucky. I don't have the best friendship-maintenance skills, and hence - hadn't done the appropriate "few days in advance" contact.. but somehow I got ahold of both of them.

I made really good time especially for a saturday afternoon.. probably a little over an hour from Mission Bay - Irvine. So I went to visit Kevin first. He's moved back into his parents house, so that made it pretty easy to get there. I wanted to get the details on that move, but I figure there probably wasn't a "positive" reason for it, so why bother asking?

It was fun to see that house again. When I was 14 (or maybe it was 15..) I'd rollerbladed there from El Toro.. probably a good 5-6 miles, all the way down Trabuco Rd. I remember being completely dehydrated and out of breath, when his Dad came home and immediately started telling his Mom "Honey, I saw some kid rollerblading all the way down Trabuco" it was pretty funny in hindsight, but the razzing I got was pretty embarrassing at the time.

The fact his wife and two kids (the latest one, I'd never met before) were there just made it feel paradoxical, but I have to admit he seems really settled into the "family man" role, finally. We caught up a little, and then we headed out to the "Irvine Xtreme Karting" he'd wanted to go to. On the way there, he told me he's trying out for the OC Sheriff's Dept.. which was pretty surprising.. to a point.

I had to admit that I'd thought about doing it myself once, and with the infectiousness of every Navy recruit who hasn't been out to the fleet yet, he tried to re-sell me on the idea. He really killed the sales pitch though when he was telling me about how you have to do 6 years as a prison guard first, and they're all corrupt and abuse prisoners... which wouldn't bother him.

The go-karts were pretty fun. They were the "30mph high performance" kind, not those sissy 5mph palace park kind. ;P The only thing that sucked was that I spun out pretty bad and tweaked my neck.

After that, went over to Rob's. We discussed the merits of netflix, then watched "nobody's baby" which was kind of a remake of "Raising Arizona". It was cool seeing him again, especially since the last time was probably pre-2000 :\ He also told me he won't be using LJ anymore since it's owned by "the russians" as opposed to those san francisco granola eatin' treehuggers it was before.. which might be a valid point considering they probably aren't as bound against selling off personal information as an american company would be. I don't know if I'm going to stay on here yet myself.. maybe if I can move all my entries somewhere else I'll consider jumping ship.

Then again, if they're shady enough to sell my info in the first place, they'll probably just sell it anyway even after I'm "deleted", anyway..

After I left Rob's place, I went through Laguna Hills, then down PCH.. which I have to mention is almost an impossible way to get to San Diego. After you get past Dana Point, it seems like they keep trying to get you onto the 5. So I finally quit resisting around SJC, and took the 5 back.

All in all a very good trip.

This week was pretty normal, but by Wednesday night my neck had gotten so stiff and fucked up that I had to go to the hospital on Thursday. They gave me some muscle relaxer (BACLOFEN) and some Motrin, and were kind enough to refill my allegra prescription. So since yesterday I've been kind of out of it.. so if this post doesn't make sense, there's your answer ;)

hope everyone (russian people selling my info included) is doing well.

So, I was looking at trip packages because I've been starting to feel that old "wanderlust" again.. I found a $1600 9-day travel/accommodation package to London/Paris, and I'm seriously planning it. My tax refund should completely cover it, but the challenge is gonna be making sure Kristina gets enough cash to cover it, since she's on a lot tighter budget. Hopefully if all goes well, next fall I'll be UP IN THE PUB! ;D

Random thought - as much as I hated the navy, I made this cheesy "travel map" on a myspace profile toy site, and they were really good for (financially) cheap travel. ;P~

This has been an interesting week. Sometimes it seems like my life is a moebius strip of introspective periods and mundane day-to-day life, which usually lead to a lj posting. :P This one apparently isn't any different. Well, maybe that's all a little dramatic.. but to sum it all up, I found out my grandpa has lung cancer, my mom is working a second job on top of her 50-hour current job, my sister arrived at army bootcamp last friday, I got sick yesterday and spent thanksgiving by myself.. which actually turned out to be very fulfilling as I got a chance to think about my life and what my goals and expectations are for the next couple years.

I feel optimistic about my Grandpa.. or I should say, hopeful - about the level of treatment available today, especially since they caught it so early on. (He had a strange "spot" on his lung, that they noticed when he had his heart palpitation.) I'm not totally indifferent to the gravity of the situation though, and when I heard a story on NPR this morning about a woman losing her father to cancer, I couldn't take more than about 30 seconds of it.

My Mom has always been a source of concern and frustration to me.. Concern because she has literally worked herself to the bone to provide a better life for my sisters, and they've selfishly consumed every resource she's given them.. and there isn't any use trying to explain that maybe there comes a point where you could look at them as a "bad investment", or from a tough love approach "they need to hit rock bottom".. but either point is moot since the only thing that's abated my Mom from helping them is that she herself has nearly hit rock bottom.. and to be placed on all kinds of stress, anxiety, sleeping, diabetes and you-name-it medicine.. while now having to work two jobs to pull -herself- out of the debt incurred by my sisters. My frustration has always come from the fact I've always tried explaining things to her in the most logical way I could, trying to be supportive and honest.. but it's like talking to a brick wall most of the time.

I don't know what kind of commentary to make about my sister. I wish she hadn't joined the army, but honestly, she backed herself into such a corner, that I really don't know what else she could've done. I'm glad I was able to talk some sense into her, and get her to pick a logistics job instead of the military police job she had initially chosen. I guess in a way I'm a little envious too, since a part of me misses the 'adventure' of being in the military.. but I can't imagine the day to day life soldiers' endure, compared to the "cruise ship from hell" existence I had while I was in the navy.

As far as my thanksgiving.. not a ton to say. I was nauseous most of the day, and had to take a couple naps, but not a huge deal. I watched a couple movies, and read my book ("A confederacy of dunces")

Hopefully tonight Kristina and I are gonna go see Beowulf at the IMAX down here.

Hope everyone is doing good.

..that is all. ;]

So my Mom is out here visiting from AZ, and while it's always nice to see family (... according to THE BIG BOOK OF EUPHEMISMS.) there's also a large element of "PLEASE GOD MAKE THE HURTING STOP!!" Since my family has easily more drama than "Brothers & Sisters", "Desperate Housewives", and "Lost" put together.. and it's nearly driven my Mom to the brink of nervous breakdown. I won't go to much into it all, because it's sad and gets me upset, but suffice it to say that I keep my sanity by distancing myself from it all - to an extent.

I also maintain the dubious honor of being the most boring/dependable member of the family (by design), so needless to say I'm never in the position of interjecting my own drama when I'm hearing about some of my family's, but it also makes me feel like a doormat sometimes. Ugh. Anyway, with my Mom being here, I'm faced with nothing but dramatical stories, and it's extremely stressful, since I could only do anything about 2% of them. So the end result is maybe a slight bit of catharsis for my mom, but throbbing stress headaches for me. I'm sorry if that sounds cold, but I just have to be honest.. hearing the same stories about how my sister fucked up her life and got her kids taken away is just draining.. and just for once I'd like to hear a story that involved her helping herself, or just anything on a positive note for that matter.

I know it's also very stressful for Kristina, who is not only in the position of trying to present a good image to my Mom, but is also a doormat for all my family's drama, by virtue of constantly having to hear about.. and while she doesn't have a major stake in it, it's just a fact that negativity in doses that large is draining to anyone, except a fox news reporter. Maybe I asked too much of her the other day as well, when we went to visit my Grandparents, and my Grandpa was in the hospital for a "value fibullation" he'd experienced.. gown and all.

So yeah, not good, not good at all. I've been trying to provide a stress-free weekend for my Mom by waiting on her hand and foot, but in listening to all the shit my sister does, and how it's affecting my Mom, I've become totally stressed out in the process. On the other hand, I do feel obligated to help her out in whatever way I can, so it's definitely a weird position to be in for me.. but whatever the case after she leaves tomorrow I'll be glad to have peace and quiet.

So yes, it's time for my semi-annual update ;P

Not much new to report. I've been working at SAIC for 3 months as of Friday. It's not my dream job per se, but it's great for the time being. I guess the biggest con right now would just be the fact that I have almost complete autonomy.. and there's a HUGE temptation of slacking-off all day.. In addition to that, my responsibilities only require about 30 minutes a day.. So it's seriously becoming an example of "idle hands are the devil's workshop" and I've squandered a lot of time I could've used to better myself (i.e. write shell scripts to automate what I do.. and do my math homework..) but I have to take the blame, and do something about it because obviously that's a personal problem.

Other than that, it's great. My co-workers are all highly intelligent, honest, interesting, funny motherfuckers.. so a lot of my day is also spent in shooting the shit. In particular, one of my co-workers was a rivethead/goth during the 80's.. so you can imagine how I've lived vicariously through some of his stories.. he's also kicked down a shitload of mp3s, so I'm sort of "broadening my horizons"

I guess the negative aspect to my life right now would be that I've fallen off the wagon, and started playing WoW again. I never had such a hard time staying quit from cigarettes as I have from WoW.. and I believe it stems from that fact I think subconsciously I might be suffering from low "self-worth" since my job is pretty trivial, and I don't have any causes to rally behind anymore, or a primary hobby I'm interested in.. and the beast (of WoW) is always waiting in the shadows with a promise of entertainment and "prestige" to people who aren't prestigious or entertained elsewhere in their lives. Ok, that might possibly be over-dramatized a touch, but you get the idea. The effect on my "operational" life hasn't been dramatic.. lost sleep, lack of focus at work, and probably the worst being a shift of a portion of my attention away from school.. which cause me to fail a test tonight which I could've easily passed had I studied the material..

So tonight I'm planning to go to bed early, and with a clear head tommorow I'm going to figure out how to prioritize my time, and what I'm going to do with it in general..

Hope everybody is doing great though.

So, after hitting my head on the toilet seat, I was inspired to organize a #714 reunion party..

Seriously though, I think this has been a long time coming, and while it hasn't been 10 years since some of us "graduated" from #714/irc, I think a meet-up like this is way overdue..

So what I have is mind is that, in November/December, we have an event somewhere private - I'm thinking, a hotel ballroom somewhere in the OC - with kegs, open bar, dj, etc.. supported by pre-paid RSVP (I'm thinking approx. 25 bucks a person.. or whatever would strictly cover the costs.) Possibly, we could have some games.. "#714 Felony/Misdemeanor/Sex-act Jeopardy" but mainly I think it would be great to get everyone together again.. hopefully I'm not the only person who is this nostalgic though.

Well, this whole "unemployed" phase of my post-navy life has definitely been "hours of boredom interrupted by moments of sheer insanity" but here are the highlights:

Technically, I got a job. jr. Unix Admin in the security divison of a big gov't contractor. The only problem is that they offered me the job like two weeks ago, and my background clearance is -still- waiting to go through. Very frustrating. The main holdup? My GED.. for some reason, GED results aren't kept in a giant database somewhere.. they're apparently in a giant, mile-high stack of paper, that clerks have to search for and mail to you/interested parties upon written request. So the background check company began requesting them last week through whatever sources they have, and just because I knew something like this would happen - I sent a request myself last week, so I might get the certificate this week, or next week.. which might be too late. Ugh. So maybe I will be doomed to a life of windows 2000 support for the rest of my career. ;P Sad.

Tonight was interesting.. I went to see 'The Simpsons Movie' with my old navy homie Richard, and it was totally schmaltzy, but admittedly had pretty 3d animation and a couple funny jokes (namely; Otto, smoking a bong..) I definitely didn't feel like I got my 9 bucks worth though.

On the way home, as I drove through Mission Valley, I smelled something horrible. It was like burning tires, silicon, and paper. I drove on for a few miles, and I still smelled it. I figured there must've been a massive fire in the area, but I got on a different freeway, and the smell persisted.. I started to wonder if my truck was going to explode soon. I slowed down, and prepared myself to see smoke billowing up from under my hood. Nothing. I looked around the cabin of my truck.. nothing. So wtf?

Finally, the smell went away, but as I changed freeways again (welcome to san diego) it came back, and smelled more like burnt paper. Come to find out, some "Tire Depot" caught fire, and they decided to let it burn for fear of polluting the ground water. Tire Depot is insured for 2 million dollars, so "good for them" - they won't lose any money, but I wonder how many people got fucked up from that fire and how bad it fucked up the environment..

Well, I didn't know about this until I got home, so I stopped at the AMPM by my house, and I noticed the strangest thing - I could -SMELL-.. I mean really SMELL! The lady in the AMPM was cleaning the floor, and I could totally -smell- it!

Why is that some exciting shit to me? Well, a long, long time ago, I inhaled some sulfuric acid vapors and it -totally- fucked my nose up. To the point where I haven't been able to smell that well on the best days since, and to make matters worse I developed allergies a couple years ago. So it's been an awesome night, because tire smells aside - everything else has smelled GREAT!

..just thought I'd share ;D

Hope everyone is doing kickass.

btw - I updated my flickr with cruise pics.. so if you want to check 'em out:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/phaelinx

Well O.K., maybe things aren't to THAT point yet.. but they could be a little better.

I'm still on terminal leave, therefore technically still getting paid. I just wish I had a job.. and interesting job though, because truth be told I get bored very easily and I don't like "vacations" - with no travel involved. This "vacation" has been rewarding in that I've learned a few things about myself though..

1.) I genuinely enjoy watching soccer, and it helps take my mind off things.
2.) After all the interviews I've been on so far, I've come to the realization that I may not know as much as I thought/acted like I knew before now.
3.) I think it's possible I might be a highly abrasive motherfucker.. and until people get to know the caring, trustworthy person I am, I probably come off like a total asshole.

So when you sum all of those things up, they add up to a "vacation" of sitting around watching a lot of football games, and going on a lot of bad interviews. Doh.

Right before I got out of the navy though, I decided I was willing to take a crap (helpdesk) job, start my degree, then eventually try to pursue a career as a [insert fun language here] developer. So I wonder if, even though I was genuinely interested in the jobs I interviewed for (jr. dba, linux tech support) that it might have been possible I mentally sabotaged myself, since my "goal" was elsewhere. Ugh. If that's really the case though, I sure hope my subconscious knows what the hell it's doing.

Other than that, not a lot of news. Kristina is all moved in now, and it's been a good influence on me.. I've done more cooking and cleaning/been responsible than I did in my last year when I was stationed in virgina..

In family news.. everyone is just kind of holding their breath to see if/when Becky joins the air force.. which I won't elaborate on any more than I have, because it's naturally a big can of worms.

Well, I have an interview tomorrow for a helpdesk job, so wish me 'employment' ;P

Hope everyone is doing well, BTW.